Attack of the Wasps!
by Dr-fernman
Summary: Our hero has just become a hero, hoping to take on the world and get a girl along the way. Instead of getting to fight bandits or rescue a damsel in distress, a strange man comes up to him and asks him to go kill some bugs. What could go wrong?


This is crack of Fable TLC, in it you will laugh, cry and get pissed. Rated M for morons.

Wasps.

After emerging from the guild, a man came running to the hero saying wasps are attacking the picnic area, with the hero just staring at him. "Uh, you do know wasps aren't a big deal, right?" Said the hero as the man just looked at him, and then became enraged. "Don't you know anything? Wasps are as big are you arm you bloke! Now get to the picnic area and go kill them!" Said the man, pointing to the road. "Okay, but I don't get why you can't do it, they are just wasps, what could happen." Said the hero, then decided to go and check out the picnic area.

When he got there, the hero saw as a man tried to fight off three wasps with his own hands, not even bothering to use the stick next to him. He also saw more wasps around the area, and a few chasing a real hottie. As she ran around the sundial, he noticed how her hips swinging side to side, her pony tail flapping in the wind, and her large chest bouncing up and down. His mind was made up; he would do this for the hottie. Taking his sword from its sheath, he ran towards the first three wasps attacking the man. Swinging his sword, he decapitated two of them, with the other looking at him. It flew towards him, its stinger aiming right at him. The hero ducked, then sprang up with his sword, piercing the wasp in the back with the sword. The man thanked him, saying he was going to tell everyone about him.

The Hero then ran towards a small group of wasps picking at a body. He swung his sword in a clock-wise fashion, cutting all of them in half. The last wasps were the ones chasing the woman, who then fell on a stick that was in front of her, knocking her to the ground. She watched in horror as the wasps closed in of her, their stingers point at her as if they were going to stick it in her, which was their intent. She closed her eyes, not wanting to accept her fate of those wasps sticking their stinger's in her, when she heard their screams. She turned and looked up, seeing the Hero knocking the last one down, stabbing it in the head with his sword. He walked over to her and extended a hand with a smile on his face.

Instead of having the woman smother him in gratitude, she just crawl to her feet and ran as if Michael Jackson was dancing his way towards her. Depressed with her running off, he turned to leave when he heard the beating of the wings of the Queen wasp. As he turned to face the extremely large insect, his words were this: "Are you kidding me! I just killed a crap load of large bugs, only to have an even LARGER bug come from out of no were and try and kill me?" As he finished, the Queen spun in a tornado like circle and wasps shot towards him like rockets. "And now she is magically spawning wasps out of NO WERE? What the hell man?" He said as he killed the smaller wasps.

Just then, the guild master spoke to him, "Your bow may be useful against the wasp Queen, or maybe you're lightning?" He told to Hero, just adding to his annoyance. "Like I didn't know that." As he unleashed his bow, he took a deep breath as he pulled back the string, then releasing the arrow huddling towards the Queen. Instead of piercing the wasp, it just bounced off its stomach, causing it to erupt in laughter at the Hero's incompetence to pierce its skin. This only added to the Hero's frustration, then, he hatched an idea. He pulled his left hand back and soon, a small ball of fire formed and from that, he threw it at the Wasp, only having it miss completely and hit the tree behind it. This caused the Queen to fly backwards in laughter, unknown that the tree it now on fire. As it backed into the fire, it flew forward in pain, unknowingly flying towards the sundial. It did a flip when it hit the dial, causing it to fall to the ground near the bench, giving the Hero his chance. His cut off its wings, its stinger and then its head. When the people returned to the picnic area, they were overjoyed. They clapped for the hero as he pulled the head from the body and held it proudly in the air for all to see, only to have blood fall on his face. "What is your name hero?" Asked a man with a balding head and glasses, who looked at the hero and laughed when he saw the green blood on his face, as did the other who were there. The Hero placed the Head on the ground, shot a Heroic pose and proudly said: "AVATAR!" He said loudly, making all the men to laugh."You sure don't look like no avatar to us!" Said one of the men, laughing his ass off, prompting the hero to throw a fire ball at the man. Lighting him on fire and running around in circles, the others trying to put out the fire.

As the hero dragged the head out of the picnic area in frustration, the woman from before came up to him. "Thank you hero and I think Avatar is great name for you." And hugged the hero, pressing her large breasts against his chest, making him blush and she kissed his cheek. "See you in Bowerstone Avatar." And she winked, walking out of the picnic area through the main gate. Leaving the hero in awe as he touched his cheek then did an arm pump. "Yes!" He said, and happily walked out of the picnic area with his prize. Just then, the man on fire ran to the others, screaming, "Why haven't you gone for help!" And died, falling backwards into a rock, cracking his head open. The Hero looked at him, over his head as a little face appeared with horns saying +5. "Oh come on, he was annoying me!" Then walked out of the area, still happy but now annoyed.


End file.
